In Memoriam: Robert Means Prioleau (1934-2024)
With the kind permission of the family, the Society is honored to share the Homily provided Wednesday, May 15, 2024 at the Bishop Gadsden Chapel in Charleston, SC for our former President and member, Robert Means Prioleau.
Engineer, Teacher, Artist, Sportsman, Devout Christian, Dog Lover, Reader, Mapper, Gentleman, Huguenot Historian – definitely one of the “most interesting men in the world” (thank you Dos Equis) - and all notable qualities of Bob Prioleau, beloved father, grandfather and devoted husband to Mom for almost 70 years.
My name is Charlie Prioleau, the eldest of dad’s three children and born in Annapolis, Maryland, while my father was stationed and teaching cadets at the US Naval Academy. Thank you for being here today and for helping us celebrate his wonderful, diverse and interesting life. At the conclusion of today’s service, there will be a reception in Blackmer Hall at Bishop Gadsden. Please join us and help us celebrate dad’s life!
In short, our father was born curious. His curiosity about what was going on in a book, in the world, or in someone’s life was certainly a hallmark of his personality. He was always interested in what family or friends were doing. He was an avid listener…when you were talking to him, you felt like you were the only person in the room. His focus was unique and notable in today’s distracted and challenging world.
He was a great dad, father and mentor – always supportive in our many endeavors – whether academic, sports or life-related challenges. He led by example – getting it right most all the time - I recall an adventure in the Sea Lark when we were at Dewees Inlet and decided to motor out into the Atlantic; somehow, believe it or not, we were operating without his usual hand drawn maps & charts, and we ran aground in the middle of a giant sandbar. Pulling from his naval training, he managed to get us free by throwing the boat’s anchor repeatedly off the bow and pulling us slowly off the sandbar and back to deep water.
Another adventure that I vividly recall was a return trip from a day spent at the Rockville Regatta. We were motoring up the Stono River and were overcome by a blinding and terrible gully washer of a summer storm. My father calmly put Mom and Caroline below deck, and we slowly and methodically navigated the river channel back to Charleston Harbor by using his maps and channel markers – the maps worked and his poise under this unusual pressure situation was rock steady!
So many stories…I’ll spend just a moment or two longer highlighting a few more about dad:
Engineer – degreed in Chemical Engineering with honors from Princeton, our father was a born engineer – if he could build or fix it, he would. He always had a workshop where he would spend hours working or repairing things as well as stockpiling supplies. A fond memory of one of his workshop projects was the creation of a competitive Pinewood Derby entry out of a simple pinewood block for his grandson – it was shaped like a runaway train. While I was at a loss for how to bring the concept to life, he disappeared into his workshop and, with Wilson - viola - produced a winning entry in our local cub scout pinewood derby event. Dad had an uncanny ability to build and create things – whether our backyard lantern at 34 South Battery or a full gothic cathedral out of Styrofoam – with flying buttresses and all!
Artist – While dad was the engineer who could build or fix anything around a house, he was also the consummate artist who could sketch and/or paint a portrait of its exterior. Dad sketched a wide assortment of things – from homes, to boats, Venetian scenes and dogs – notably dachshunds! We used his sketch of our South Battery home for a recent wedding party invite. I also recall sketches of our home in Darien with Willy, the family dachshund, in the front yard; the HMS Pickle and many others. Even his hand drawn maps – which were often meant to guide us in our trips and travels – were works of art!
Devout Christian – Dad loved his churches – whether visiting on travels or working in them as an active member. In particular, he spent 8 years serving as Treasurer of Christ Church Cathedral in Houston and served on the vestries of several churches, including Christ Church, St. Frances, and St.Luke’s. He also loved serving as a lay reader in many churches including St. Michaels, Christ Church, Pompion Hill as well as recently in this BG Chapel. He also helped conduct noon day services at St. Michael’s in town. Dad knew the Bible as well as anyone and could easily have led his men’s bible study class. Often during sermons, Dad would make notes that helped explain the minister’s message so that even an eighth grader could understand.
Gentleman – As much as anything, friends and people who met Dad always referred to him as a kind & gentle man. Whether hosting friends or visiting groups, he was always gracious, welcoming and interested in what people were doing. He was the quintessential southern gentleman with a witty sense of humor. He loved having a good time and was known for making a particularly strong and delicious eggnog. He cared deeply for family and kept in touch with friends far and wide from various venues in which he and Mom lived.
Sportsman – Tennis, Windsurfing, Skiing, Sailing, Bird Hunting, Crew at Princeton, Soccer at Woodberry Forest School – Dad was a competitive and talented athlete in many sports. Tennis was one of his favorite activities - an unusual and amusing warm up routine for a tennis match was his patented “duck walk.” I can’t imitate this athletic move for fear of blowing out my ACL…but somehow this routine worked for him! He was also a supportive dad cheering us on in our own sporting ventures – whether at St. John’s, WFS, Kinkaid or other – he loved being involved in our sporting lives.
In sum, Dad led a full and interesting life - and it was always better if red wine, chocolate, cookies or coffee ice cream were involved. While we’re very sad to see him go, we are happy knowing that he’s in a much better place and free of pain and any suffering. Over these past few years, Dad faced many challenges; yet he always managed to deal with his difficulties with dignity. I’d be remiss if I didn’t thank the care staff at The Estes and Bishop Gadsden for their time and efforts over the past few years and, in particular, to Becky O’Neill, a warm and loving caregiver and friend who spent numerous hours with dad in conversation as well as attending events – such as our daughter’s wedding in Charleston last year.
RIP RMP – we love you and miss you…and we will enjoy these and many other memories forever.